10. Contemplate tearing it out.
9. Create a Purple Sprouting Advent calendar to count the 240 day period to maturity.
8. Measure the diameter of the trunks (and I mean trunks!) and its height every week.
7. Find the largest leaf and submit it to the Guinness Book of World Records.
6. Stake it up so it's not flopping over from it's own weight.
5. Find out how many critters are living among it.
4. Fertilize it just for kicks and giggles.
3. Figure out how the heck you're going to protect it from frost and wet, heavy snow.
2. Hold a neighborhood skit for kids on Jack and Broccoli Stalk...
....And the number one thing to do?
1. Make a list of all the crops you could have planted instead!